The Shadow Puppet and Her Chains.
Nov. 11th, 2025 06:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
builtgodnowwhatWhen I first came back home, the world felt so grey. I walked in, and spotted my grandparents walking up to me weeping. "You look just like your mother." Those words struck me, like a bolt of the thunder.
I never wanna be like my mother. I wanna be know for myself, for this person who enjoys music. Or this girl who values her writing. I don't wanna be like my mother in any way, shape, or form. My whole life I've been a shadow of my mother. "Shes just like you, a mini you" her friends would say, as I sat there with my earbuds blasted on full volume. I am not my mother, a woman who rather replace her daughter, than love her for herself. A mother who left her odd child out, just because she looked different. I will never be that woman who was unfaithful to my father, giving other men secret glances in clubs. I refuse to be a woman who has done harm in my life, who has emotionally abused me. A woman who turned away when her daughter needed her the most.
Forever I will be me, a girl who loves her interest. A girl who would give up the world for the people she loves, even if it causes harm to her. I will forever be me. Not my mother. I am not a shadow of her, I am not a mini her. I'm nothing like her, and I will forever be repeating this to myself till death touches me.
I know shes not here to defend herself, nor is she here to fix our broken relationship. I do love her in a way, but hatred has filled my heart. And this fear will forever weigh me down, like a heavy chain. And that will forever drag me to the pits of hell, where my mother lies.
I never wanna be like my mother. I wanna be know for myself, for this person who enjoys music. Or this girl who values her writing. I don't wanna be like my mother in any way, shape, or form. My whole life I've been a shadow of my mother. "Shes just like you, a mini you" her friends would say, as I sat there with my earbuds blasted on full volume. I am not my mother, a woman who rather replace her daughter, than love her for herself. A mother who left her odd child out, just because she looked different. I will never be that woman who was unfaithful to my father, giving other men secret glances in clubs. I refuse to be a woman who has done harm in my life, who has emotionally abused me. A woman who turned away when her daughter needed her the most.
Forever I will be me, a girl who loves her interest. A girl who would give up the world for the people she loves, even if it causes harm to her. I will forever be me. Not my mother. I am not a shadow of her, I am not a mini her. I'm nothing like her, and I will forever be repeating this to myself till death touches me.
I know shes not here to defend herself, nor is she here to fix our broken relationship. I do love her in a way, but hatred has filled my heart. And this fear will forever weigh me down, like a heavy chain. And that will forever drag me to the pits of hell, where my mother lies.
