MERRY CHRISTMAS

HALLOOOOO I finally got a laptop so posting here will be sosososo much easier!!!!

Life update since im here... Me and the girl arent really anything i suppose. Im just really confused on what to do because we hardly talk or see eachother anymore. I talked to my friends about how im feeling, and they said im giving my all. If yall could help me that would be GREAT

Something

Call me pretty, call me worthless, call me anything you want. Because in the end I want to be something.

I don't know what to feel at the moment, as my feelings are scattered puzzle pieces. Only so much emotion I can take at the moment until I burst. I feel anger for past memories, but vacant. I feel sad for current events but confused.

Am I something to or nothing?

Short Story For Prolonged Feelings

I cannot make you love me, but I can turn you into poetry.

I'm a yearning poet for you, and at the midst of night I hope the moon will send you, my message. The distance is just a myth to my head' because I know the truth will cut my throat.

Fine Arts of Suicide Cleanup

My stomach is sick from just existing, only thing I can consume are my thoughts. Nothing is distracting my mind, as I’m still finding pain in myself. I’m tired but no amount of rest will work, as it’s not rest I need anymore. My mental health being a monster, haunting me and following my every move. It’s waiting for the right moment to consume me whole. It’s waiting for my most vulnerable moment and his plan is working, as each day I’m getting unfortunate with my health. Dismal being my best friend right now, as it seems I’m alone. “You’re not alone Raven I’m here!” As much as I want to believe it, if that were true I wouldn’t be fighting this monster by myself. Everyone has their own personal hell, filled with their own creatures. Some are fortunate to have someone who can help. For me, I have a curse that will forever cause me to feel alone. I don’t know what to feel. I fear the strawberry gashes are everywhere, for the spirit took control.

To destroy me, you would have to become me. I only know my deepest fears.

Deer in Headlights

I hate myself for forgiving you, knowing you tried many ways to keep me quiet. You made me feel gross about my body and who I am as a person.

I’m filled with anger, and that’s something I lived with ever since. The void feeling being there for entirety.

You made me feel like I was insane, and that I was being fed lies about my own experience. You tried to harm me for trying to get help.

I haven’t gotten that help. I never got to heal properly. That stab wound is still openly bleeding, and I just want it to close.

I’ve never talked about this in a deeper level, because anytime I choke up and wanna burn every nerve in my body.

You never showed me love in any sort. You showed me what it meant to have resentment and misery.

For me I have to suffer with these things by living. You’ve made me want to say goodnight.

A dream

I wanna look like the midst of midnight, beautiful and burning with stars. I’m longing to feel more than a simple thought in someone’s mind.

I wanna be full with light and life again, maybe finding my purpose. I no longer wanna be that rotting corpse, being eaten by the maggots.

Though my mind is full of diseases and uncured sickness, I don’t think the time of happiness will ever come.

Death hasn’t touched me, but to all I love I am dead.