Deer in Headlights

[builtgodnowwhat]

I hate myself for forgiving you, knowing you tried many ways to keep me quiet. You made me feel gross about my body and who I am as a person.

I’m filled with anger, and that’s something I lived with ever since. The void feeling being there for entirety.

You made me feel like I was insane, and that I was being fed lies about my own experience. You tried to harm me for trying to get help.

I haven’t gotten that help. I never got to heal properly. That stab wound is still openly bleeding, and I just want it to close.

I’ve never talked about this in a deeper level, because anytime I choke up and wanna burn every nerve in my body.

You never showed me love in any sort. You showed me what it meant to have resentment and misery.

For me I have to suffer with these things by living. You’ve made me want to say goodnight.